When quitting Tina, you will likely have to deal with triggers, craving and the possibility of relapsing.
Especially if you used for a long time and intensively.
The temptation will be particularly strong in the beginning.
Hearing Grindr’s notification beep or the word “slam”, or even simply feeling lonely might be enough to provoke a craving for Tina.
Fortunately, the temptation will diminish over time.
But there are also things you can do to get through the process and prevent a relapse.
Process: Trigger >> thinking >> craving >> using
A trigger is anything that revives a memory of using Tina.
These memories typically make you consider using Tina again.
These thoughts tend to provoke intense craving particularly in the beginning.
If you do nothing to resist, you’ll soon have your hands on a pipe or a needle in your arm once again.
Try to remember that even the worst cravings will usually subside after a few minutes.
Craving does not have to lead automatically to using!
There are external and internal triggers.
External triggers are things in your environment that revive memories of using.
These may include a particular scent, Grindr’s beep, bumping into someone you know from sex parties, or cycling through your regular dealer’s neighbourhood.
An internal trigger is anything within you that revives memories of using.
These are usually emotions.
When you’re down or sad, you may be tempted to suppress these feelings by using Tina.
Others are tempted to use when they’re happy.
The idea being to celebrate their happiness and enhance it.
For others still, being criticized, or feeling hurt, embarrassed, rejected or bored can be a trigger.
Any strong emotion or feeling can be a trigger if it is linked with using Tina.
Besides emotions, horniness can also be a powerful trigger.
Avoiding Triggers
The previous section offered some strategies for handling triggers.
Keep your home free of drugs, make sure your old sex buddies can’t contact you, and don’t leave your weekend schedule empty.
If you’re triggered frequently, consider redecorating your home, listening to new types of music, cycling alternative routes or doing your shopping elsewhere.
Anything to change your routines and banish memories of Tina.
Blocking unhelpful thoughts
Ultimately, you cannot banish triggers completely.
Something you may never have considered a trigger can suddenly provoke thoughts of Tina.
You’re thinking about something innocent, and the next thing you know you’re thinking about sex and Tina, and before you know it you’re gripped by severe craving.
It’s therefore important to block such thoughts before they provoke craving.
You can do this in different ways.
Experiment to find what works best for you.
❗ Tips & Tricks - Here are a few examples:
Visualisation
If you’re highly visual, you can use this method to pretend you’re watching TV or a film.
Imagine watching a film of yourself using Tina.
Then use the remote control to change channels or pick a different film.
Make sure the new programme or film is one that makes you feel good.
For example, visualize a wonderful vacation or someone you love dearly.
Summon strong emotions
If you’re someone who experiences strong emotions, summoning those that do not trigger craving is an option.
Summoning these emotions can block out thoughts of using.
Think, for example, of something that makes you very angry (such as a political issue) or something that scares you (such as spiders or heights).
Physical distraction
If you aren’t very good at visualizing or summoning emotions, then a physical strategy might be the answer.
A widely used trick is to wear a thick elastic band around the wrist.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking of Tina, give yourself a jolt of pain by snapping the elastic band.
This will interrupt the thought.
If you’re at home, clenching your fist around some ice cubes for a few minutes can help.
What to do if you experience craving anyway?
Haven’t been able to block out the thoughts and you’re now experiencing a strong craving?
This is frustrating and can even be frightening.
But if you resist, the craving will usually start to ease in a few minutes.
There are a number of tricks that can help you to outlast the craving.
Craving does not have to lead automatically to using.
❗ Tips & Tricks - What to do if you experience craving anyway?
Surf your craving
Craving is like a wave.
It builds and builds until it breaks.
After which it rolls back into the sea and disappears.
The mechanism of craving is similar.
If you don’t give in to it, the wave will break and disappear again.
So imagine yourself surfing the craving-wave towards the beach.
You’re on top of the craving rather than inside it.
Surf the craving-wave all the way to the beach until it rolls back into the sea.
Acknowledge your craving and talk honestly about it!
If you suffer regular bouts of craving, talking about it is one of the best things you can do.
Some men feel ashamed, pretend they’re all right and keep it to themselves.
But craving develops a life of its own when kept secret.
You’ll be amazed at how relieved you’ll be when you talk about it.
Craving eases its grip when you talk about it.
Find someone with whom you can be completely open.
This may be a friend, family member or sobriety sponsor.
What’s important is that the person can listen without panicking or judging.
Show them information on this site concerning triggers, craving and relapsing.
It’s important for them and for you to understand that craving is part of the process, and does not automatically lead to a relapse.
Tell someone about it immediately!
Don’t give your craving time to develop.
When you feel it coming, don’t wait for it to build; call someone immediately and talk to them about it.
At NA (Narcotics Anonymous) or CMA (Crystal Meth Anonymous) meetings, there will usually be a list of men you can always call in case of emergency.
Go straight to a group meeting
Don’t wait until the next occasion of your favourite meeting; go to the first one you can find.
If you’ve never been before, now is the time to start.
Listen to others or share your story.
What’s important is that you’ll be surrounded by sober men who can lend support.
If there are no CMA or NA meetings in your city, go to an AA meeting instead.
Recall the rest of your memories
The thoughts that provoke craving are usually memories of the “good” times.
Memories about things like the first time you had sex on Tina, sex with attractive guys, or other similarly arousing experiences.
If such thoughts flood your mind, force yourself to also recall the “bad” times.
Recall the men you wouldn’t have fucked if you’d been sober, the frightening bouts of psychosis, the horrible coming downs, the things you lost because of Tina, and just how bad you felt just before you decided to stop.
Get up and move
When you feel your craving coming on, intense physical activity can be a helpful distraction.
Take a brisk walk.
Go jogging, swimming or running, or go for a workout at the gym.
You’ll find that physical activity also has a mental effect.
Moving the body moves the mind.
Handling a relapse
If you succeed in quitting Tina the first time, you will be an exception.
Especially if you’ve been using intensively and for a long time.
Quitting Tina is a learning process, and relapsing is often a part of that process.
It’s a bit like learning to ride a bike.
It often involves falling off, getting back up and trying again.
How you cope with a relapse matters considerably. Stop using again as soon as you can, don’t be too hard on yourself, and learn from your relapse!
❗ Tips & Tricks - Handling a relapse:
Get back up and carry on
A relapse can arouse feelings of powerlessness, shame, guilt or anger.
Cast these feelings aside immediately.
They are not helpful and solve nothing.
Focus on getting back up and trying again.
Reflect on what caused your relapse.
And think about what to do differently in future.
Learning process
A relapse can make you assume your efforts have been for nothing.
And think that you’ll have to start from the beginning again.
Like a mountaineer who has fallen all the way down.
And that getting back up again means starting anew.
But you can choose instead to put what’s happened in perspective.
In 6 weeks of sobriety, you’ve used just once; this means you’ve been sober for 5 weeks and 6 days.
That’s probably a lot more than in the 6 weeks prior to quitting.
Not a 100% success, but it is significant progress.
You have not lost everything you’ve learnt in the 6 weeks.
Getting back up and carrying on may even become increasingly easier.
Carry on until you succeed.
Stop as soon as you can
It can be tempting to let yourself fall back into your old habit after a relapse.
But resist the temptation to go: Fuck it! Now that I’ve used again, I might as well carry on using.
The sooner you stop again, the easier it’ll be to climb back on that horse and learn from the relapse.